My partner and I had been together for twenty years when we finally sought help for the long-term discrepancy in desire between us. I simply didn’t want sex as often as he did. You know how you don’t want to go to the gym, but always feel good after the workout? Sex was like that for me. It just wasn’t something I had the innate desire to do.
My body was disconnected from sexual pleasure. Throughout my entire life, I heard messages from the world like “women don’t like sex” and “women who like sex are sluts.” Truth be told, guys don’t have it any easier. They are constantly asked to “be a man” and at the same time are receiving messages that they should not show their desire because that could be creepy or predatory.
My body was disconnected from sexual pleasure.
A great part of being an adult is that we get to choose which messages we want to believe, including messages about sexuality. However, just choosing to replace these messages with more permissive beliefs was not going to automatically reconnect my body with desire.
So, the first thing I did was talk to my…