Make Love a Priority

Remember: “Love” is a verb—it takes time to be a good lover.

Try recreating your first date, but tell each other what you were privately thinking and feeling during that life-changing encounter. oneinchpunch/Dollar Photo Club

Valentine’s Day—a sweet sexy reminder to wow your mate with passion and appreciation, or a Hallmark holiday that pressures you to cough up romance on demand? Your response to this single-item test is telling. Sure, it’s easy to be cynical on February 14 and ignore the whole thing, or grab a random card because if you don’t your partner pouts until spring. But if you see only the superficialities, you are missing the possibilities. For love itself is…well, great, and celebrating is not cliché. So this year, instead of refusing to participate, use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to love mindfully.

My granddad Norman was great at mindful loving. He first laid his sparkling blue eyes on my petite blonde grandmother Evelyn at a Valentine’s dance. Though she was engaged to another man, he wooed her, won her, wed her. Together they shared affection and passion over a lifetime that ranged from wartime to hard-won success. Their retirement was filled with RV trips and tango dancing. Sixty years after that first meeting, his eyes, now old and pale, still lit up with delight every time she walked into a room.

Most of us know a couple like…