A common expression of shame is eating certain foods secretly and fast when nobody is around. This habit may continue for many years, not because we like the experience of eating in this way (few do), but because it lets us fool ourselves into believing that we have not eaten anything “forbidden.” Often, these eating habits become a conditioned pattern, with underlying feelings of shame—and the anxiety of being discovered—present all the time.
Often, these eating habits become a conditioned pattern, with underlying feelings of shame—and the anxiety of being discovered—present all the time.
The first thing that we can acknowledge is that this hidden secret of “not being or doing enough” is extremely energy consuming. Becoming aware of the ways that shame plays out in our own experience is the first step toward learning to treat ourselves more gently.
What types of awareness are helpful? Becoming aware of repetitive thoughts that go through the mind when life becomes difficult. Often, they are lingering self-doubts, such as “I’m unlovable,” “I’m helpless,” “I’m inadequate,” “I’m a failure.” “I’m basically alone,” or “I don’t belong.”Learning to identify the different manifestations of shame. Sometimes shame shows itself as “the inner critic”…
