There’s a common misperception that practicing mindfulness imposes another idealized picture of what our lives as parents or lovers or close friends or leaders at work should be: Always calm, always in control, and always knowing what to do, like a stereotype from an old TV show. We can’t help but fall short of this idealized vision. Recognizing that view itself is something to notice, and then we can practice setting it aside.
Our relationships, our career, the way our kids turn out—these rarely match the pictures in our minds.
Maybe you love your spouse but he never remembers to take out the trash. Or your daughter is happier as an artist than a dentist. Or you were going be that boss who always stays calm but instead often loses your cool. Here’s a reflection that may help you align your view of what is with what’s really there.
Our relationships, our career, the way our kids turn out—these rarely match the pictures in our minds.
One note of caution about family: If it’s too intense to contemplate your family life, skip this exercise. Mindfulness can be used around trauma but ideally when integrated into some kind of therapy.
1. For…
